Thursday, 14 November 2013

S1x4 - Once Upon a Time in Wonderland: The Serpent

Aired 07/11/13 on ABC

In this episode we learned some more about Jafaar; as we flashbacked to when he was a wee nipper in Agrabah working for a blacksmith who likes to throw things at him, a woman comes walking through the market and causes everyone to duck out of sight and not look at her from fear of death. Only young Jafaar looks on and after a short staring contest she decides to let him live, and he later goes by her house to plead with her to teach him dark magic. Apparently his father’s the Sultan but Jafaar was cast out for being a bastard so he’s looking for some revenge best served cold. The woman, Amara, agrees and takes him under her wing.

She teaches him dark magic but won’t let him look in her spell book until she thinks he’s ready. When he lets a goat rescuer die because he needs his liver, she says that he has become like a serpent and shed his skin and then they have sexy time. I know at this point they look the same age but all I kept thinking was that’s just because of magic, she’s old enough to be his mother. Gross!

What she does reveal to him is that the book contains information about Genies, specifically a super powerful spell that requires three Genies and both of their magic to pull off. Hence why Jafaar is so focused on getting Alice to use her wishes; he has two Genies already. When she makes her wishes he can become Cyrus’s master and get on with it. He still needs Cougar Amara to do the spell though and she’s been absent so far, but that’s only because Jafaar outgrew his mentor and killed her with a potion that allows him to take her magical essence and turn her into a serpent. He then turned it into his staff, so he can have access and proximity to her at all times. Now that certainly wasn’t in the Disney version.

Back in Wonderland, Jafaar commands the Red Queen to take Knave out of the picture, so she goes into the woods and takes down some of the Caterpillar’s men who were chasing Alice and Knave, only to capture Knave herself. I honestly don’t know how Knave didn’t just burst out laughing when he saw her, because she looked like she had stuffed Watermelons under the top to give her some poofy shoulder pads that were hilarious. But I guess the whole ex-love-of-my-life thing was a bit more prominent in his mind so he wasn’t really in a laughing mood.

RQ put him in her dungeon where he chilled for a bit, while Alice set about rescuing him. She had some help from Lizard, one of the Caterpillar’s people who used to hang around with Knave and learned his thieving ways. She and Alice arrived at RQ’s place to find that a public execution was happening, with Knave as the star of the show. Jafaar had ordered RQ to kill him, mainly because he could tell she really didn’t want too.

So the blood thirsty Wonderlandians cheered and hollered at the possibility of catching his head as it was catapulted into the crowd, and the axe made its way to Knave’s neck, but instead it met the ropes binding his hands because Alice had knocked out the executioner and taken his place. A quick scuffle and they flew out of there as they catapulted themselves over the wall.

They legged it out of there with Lizard but unfortunately the only way out was through the maze, and Jafaar is a dirty cheater with his flying carpet. RQ showed up and Jafaar knocked Lizard out and started to magically choke Knave. Alice finally made her first wish, as she wished that if Knave dies, she dies, taking the last of the wishes with her. Crafty way of making sure they stay alive, but she is now two wishes closer to Cyrus leaving her forever. She didn’t give in when Jafaar tortured her a little bit and he realised that her weakness is her heart. So he turned Knave into a statue. That’s just cruel. This show is run on his witty quips and cheeky nature. Hopefully it won’t last too long as the show without it is like a roast dinner without the gravy: it’s alright, but not as good.

So now Alice is all by her lonesome as RQ let her go. When Alice questioned why she wasn’t being arrested, RQ said she’s already in prison – Wonderland is prison. Deep. She also revealed that she’s not quite over Knave, however much she denies it. She practically begged Alice to make the wish so Jafaar wouldn’t kill him and then lovingly stroked his statue. She does have a heart somewhere under the watermelons.

Cyrus is also a little better off, as he managed to con a wishbone off of a guard and using some wishbone magic, has created a way to escape his cage. This would be good as they’re wasting his character being stuck in there all the time. Of course, if this was the Disney version, Robin Williams would have sung a song about how no-one has ever had a friend like him and then worked his genie magic to escape ages ago, but alas, it ain’t so. Still, I guess what we do have is worthy enough, but I’m going to go watch Aladdin to tide me over until next week anyway.